There are few things that strike dread in the hearts of the heftier set than an event where you're going to see people you haven't seen for years. I vaguely remember loving these kinds of things "Ooooo! An excuse to buy a new outfit! New shoes! Gonna change my hairstyle! Get my nails done! Hooray!"
Oh, I still buy new outfits for these kinds of things, but it's typically been because I no longer fit into what's in my closet - and not in the good "oh my gosh do you see how those pants just HANG on me?" kind of way.
I have one of these things coming up at the end of June and it was just the impetus I needed to answer with a resounding YES when my sister-in-law asked me if I'd want to take on a clean-eating plan with her. She's not overweight, but just wanted to clean up her diet and knowing that I have been pretty unhappy with where the scale sits, thought I might be interested in doing it with her. She tirelessly planned, generously bought and shared vitamins and other pantry necessities and left little for me to bring to the table outside of enthusiasm and commitment.
Honestly, enthusiasm and commitment have always been my biggest problems (besides my jeans-size - pun slightly intended).
I cannot separate the physical from the spiritual, and so this is a Spiritual journey as well. One of the greatest struggles for me in both aspects has always been enthusiasm and commitment. I love the third verse of Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing because it captures it so perfectly:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.
I almost cannot sing this verse without falling to my knees in a heap of tears. God is so faithful. And yet, I am so...NOT. I am so easily distracted. So easily drawn away by that shiny thing that promises entertainment or fun or relaxation. I know I should read my Bible, but I'm enjoying the mindlessness of surfing the internet, and I just want to relax tonight. I know I should pray, but Netflix is calling my name and I just don't want to have to think so hard. I know I should...but I don't.
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.
How often have I missed a blessing God longed to give me because I wasn't in the place to receive it? I don't mean winning lottery numbers or a new car, but an insight that encourages me, His Word clearly speaking into my life, or maybe he gives me insight to speak His blessing into someone ELSE'S life. I could be in the presence of the Almighty God in prayer tonight, but someone might post a picture of their dinner on Facebook, and sheesh, I'd hate to miss that. I could be spending time with my Savior, but my favorite TV show us about to come on. The issue isn't that those things are wrong or bad, but how often am I choosing those things over the things of God? How often am I trading time I could be spending learning more about Jesus, hearing His voice, impacting my soul - perhaps the souls of those I love - for eternity, to do something that doesn't really even matter 15 minutes from now?
My struggle with food is much the same. There are so many healthy things to choose from, but oh how I'm drawn by the seduction of crispy fries and the chocolate frosted cake donut. I know I should munch a carrot stick, but the mindless crunch (and effortless prep) of a potato chip is so tasty in the moment. I know I should take the time to prepare a healthy meal with fresh veggies and herbs clipped from a lovingly nurtured herb garden, but the chopping and preparing is so time-consuming and my poor little potted herbs are barely clinging to life. Besides, I just don't feel like working that hard when Chinese take-out is just down the street - and they have what my 5-year-old likes to call "sticky shrimp"!
The thing is, a healthy diet takes effort. It takes time. It takes discipline. And I am so prone to wander!
But I noticed something interesting this time around. My sister-in-law and I spent a lot of time going through recipes, planning meals and chopping and pre-cooking things that could be prepared ahead of time. I found there were so many recipes that I was genuinely excited about that I wasn't at all focused on the things I would be "giving up" under this plan. In fact, it wasn't until almost a week into it when someone asked me "So what are you NOT eating?" that I even thought about the things I'd removed from my shopping list. Past efforts have seemed like an endless list of "No's" and "Not thats" so much so that my focus seemed to remain on all the stuff I was eliminating rather than the enjoyable options that remained in the "YES" column.
Our faith can be that way, too. We can become so caught up in what we're "giving up for Jesus" that our focus becomes set on what we've given up rather than on what we're gaining in light of eternity. There are several slippery slopes when the center of our attention slips in that direction. First, if we are obsessing about what we've given up, we tend to miss entirely what God is trying to do with the time and effort he's called us to transfer from that thing (whatever it is) to Him.
The second danger is becoming prideful about those things we've given up, as if that somehow just the act of self-denial makes us more holy. May we always remember that Christ gave up His place in heaven in order to walk among us on earth, and then gave up His life so that we might be saved. Our sacrifices, at least here in the US, pale in comparison.
Whether we walk away from specific sin or simply feel God calling us to use our time differently, He doesn't draw us away from certain things just to deny us. He calls us away from certain things because those things keep us from Him, and NOTHING fulfills us the way He does, no matter how entertaining or enjoyable it might seem in the moment.
My prayer is that I will be strong in my quest for healthier options, both physically and spiritually.
here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.
In Biblical times, a seal was placed on items or documents to assure authenticity and declare ownership. Paul uses the seal as an analogy for what the Holy Spirit does to the heart of those who follow Christ:
In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory Ephesians 1:13-14
As followers of Christ, we are sealed with the Holy Spirit and that seal identifies us as heirs to the inheritance that is eternal life in the presence of God. Although our earthly years are few in comparison with eternity, when I do finally stand before the Lord , I want to know that my time here on earth was well spent. Whether I accomplish anything in the eyes of the world matters little to me, rather that I would accomplish those things that God had in mind for me when He gave me breath. May I be a witness to his grace and to His glory and may I have the courage to share the profound and amazing gift of the Gospel with those I come in contact with, that they might know His grace and His glory as well. And may there be nothing in my life that would detract from the work God is doing in me. Not an attitude or a habit or even an out of control relationship with food. May everything I say and do bring glory to Him!
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31
