Most all of us have at one time or another found ourselves in extraordinarily difficult circumstances. Whether a disaster of our own creation or one we’ve fallen into through no fault of our own, most of us have, at some point, been in a place so dark that we wonder whether we’ll ever see the light of resolution. It is during these times of despair and discouragement that we seek comfort in the well-worn verse “God will never give us more than we can handle…” Simple and encouraging, these words assure us that God knows our limits for stress and pain and suffering and He will never exceed our capacity to bear up under them.
There’s only one problem.
This verse isn’t anywhere in the Bible.
It is, I’m sure, a misquote of 1 Corinthians 10:13 which reads:
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
Though similar in wording there is a distinct difference in content – Paul promises us that God will not allow us to be TEMPTED beyond what we can bear.
I’m not so sure that this verse isn’t misquoted more than it is quoted correctly, which is unfortunate because we miss the valuable insights from Paul’s actual words when we turn it into what seems to have become it’s more “popular” incarnation. But, before I delve further into what it DOES say, I want to discuss what it does not and why it matters.
The fact of the matter is that God does, in fact, sometimes allow us to face unspeakable tragedy, tremendous stress, and all manner of catastrophes that fall clearly into the “more than I can handle” camp. Though some might simply consider it a matter of semantics, I think it is important to clarify that God does not give us difficulties, but he does allow them. He allows them not because he wants us to see that we can “pull ourselves up by our bootstraps” and get through it, but because it is sometimes only through the most miserable of circumstances that he can show us the unfathomable depths of His strength and His grace. Paul himself shares such a time in his second letter to the Corinthians. Of the severe persecution they faced in Asia, Paul says:
For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. (2 Corinthians 2:8b-9, emphasis mine)
We often have to come to the end of ourselves before we are willing to fall on our knees before the Father and recognize that He alone is sovereign.
When we feel as if we just can’t “handle it anymore” perhaps we need to stop trying to convince ourselves that we can and admit that we can’t so that we can claim the privilege of prevailing upon our loving Heavenly Father to carry us through what we cannot navigate on our own. It is only when we submit ourselves and our circumstances wholly to the Lord that He can then be free to work in us and use our lives for His glory.
What DOES this verse really say, then? I like the wording of the New Living Translation which reads:
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.
When strong temptations come, as they always do, we can be assured of two things:
- No temptation we face is unique to us. There have lived many before us, and will live many after us, who have faced in the past, and who will face in the future, whatever enticements lure us.
- GOD IS FAITHFUL! He does not abandon us to the unbearable pressure of sin. There is always a way out. We will never be put in a position where we simply have no choice but to “give in” to the temptation, whatever it is.
Temptation is inevitable. We all face it and it seems to me that sometimes the more “in-tune” I am with God and the more effort I put into knowing Him, the more I seem to be bombarded with things intended to derail me. This is to be expected, I suppose. When we are off doing our own self-centered things we are no danger to the enemy and there is no need to distract us from our cause – Oswald Chambers, in his devotional My Utmost for His Highest, says: “Not to be tempted would be to be beneath contempt.” Satan won’t waste time on those who aren’t threatening his plan for things – they fall easily right into his grasp. But when we shed our egocentricity and submit ourselves to the Father, we are of great danger to the enemy indeed.
Chambers goes on to explain the basis for our temptation:
A man’s disposition on the inside…determines what he is tempted by on the outside. The temptation fits the nature of the one tempted, and reveals the possibilities of the nature.
I think it is very important to understand that any enticements that come our way have no power over us unless we already have a pre-disposition to that behavior in the first place. One of my closest friends doesn’t care for chocolate (I’m sure this is a significant character flaw on her part - a woman who doesn’t like chocolate???) while I, on the other hand, become nearly weak-kneed with ecstasy at the mere thought of the stuff. That said, a giant bowl of M&M’s on her desk and one on mine does not represent the same struggle for both of us. She can easily ignore it for weeks on end, while I’m off to find myself a pair of pants with an elastic waistband.
People rarely, if ever, do things that are out of character for them. When we hear ourselves saying “That’s just so unlike [him, her, them, me]” it is far more likely that we didn’t think it was like him and we didn’t want to admit it was like me, but in reality, whatever “it” was, was actually very much in line with the worst and weakest parts of our character. We may be surprised by someone’s fall in this area or that, but it is far more likely that we either ignored the signs of weakness or that the individual worked very hard to hide them than the unlikely possibility that they didn’t exist at all. Were I to reveal the contents of my skeleton-filled closet, some might be surprised by what they’d find, but I know (when I’m honest with myself) my worst behavior, though desperately ugly and perhaps even embarrassing, isn’t entirely surprising because it is rooted in my own personal weaknesses, however deeply I attempt to bury them. We must always be on our guard because the devil knows where we are vulnerable and that is ALWAYS where he will attack. He will appeal to our ego, our insecurities, our hidden greed – wherever he finds us unprotected – or unaware – he will pounce on that spot and catch us off guard. We should also take care to never be too critical of the fall of another believer – our own failing, though perhaps in another arena, may be just around the corner.
The arena of our temptation changes for us as we get older – for me they’ve become much more subtle as I age. Now in my 40s, I am no longer faced with the “Do I go out with my roommate tonight or do I stay home and study for my calculus midterm…” type dilemmas. Now they are more along the lines of choosing to spend time with God instead of with the TV remote, avoiding gossip, resisting the urge for a second helping at dinner, or allowing myself to be distracted during my quiet time. It’s not that I’m tempted by “smaller” sins (sin is sin), just less obvious – and perhaps more socially acceptable – ones. Sometimes these “subtle-sins” can be even more challenging to avoid because it is so much easier to justify our behavior by suggesting that what we’re doing isn’t really “all that bad.” Eating half of a cheesecake and drinking half a bottle of tequila are both really bad ideas, but I’m sure that most would admit to the half of a cheesecake long before the bottle of tequila if confessions are being made at Bible study.
We can never avoid temptation entirely, but we do have the choice to avoid the sin. When we find ourselves face-to-face with that proverbial bowl of M&Ms, we need to claim the promise God gives us here in 1 Corinthians 10:13 – that He is faithful and that He will always provide a way out. In that sense, it’s true – God never gives us more than we can handle.
