More than we can handle…

Most all of us have at one time or another found ourselves in extraordinarily difficult circumstances. Whether a disaster of our own creation or one we’ve fallen into through no fault of our own, most of us have, at some point, been in a place so dark that we wonder whether we’ll ever see the light of resolution. It is during these times of despair and discouragement that we seek comfort in the well-worn verse “God will never give us more than we can handle…” Simple and encouraging, these words assure us that God knows our limits for stress and pain and suffering and He will never exceed our capacity to bear up under them.

There’s only one problem.

This verse isn’t anywhere in the Bible.

It is, I’m sure, a misquote of 1 Corinthians 10:13 which reads:

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Though similar in wording there is a distinct difference in content – Paul promises us that God will not allow us to be TEMPTED beyond what we can bear.

I’m not so sure that this verse isn’t misquoted more than it is quoted correctly, which is unfortunate because we miss the valuable insights from Paul’s actual words when we turn it into what seems to have become it’s more “popular” incarnation. But, before I delve further into what it DOES say, I want to discuss what it does not and why it matters.

The fact of the matter is that God does, in fact, sometimes allow us to face unspeakable tragedy, tremendous stress, and all manner of catastrophes that fall clearly into the “more than I can handle” camp. Though some might simply consider it a matter of semantics, I think it is important to clarify that God does not give us difficulties, but he does allow them. He allows them not because he wants us to see that we can “pull ourselves up by our bootstraps” and get through it, but because it is sometimes only through the most miserable of circumstances that he can show us the unfathomable depths of His strength and His grace. Paul himself shares such a time in his second letter to the Corinthians. Of the severe persecution they faced in Asia, Paul says:

For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. (2 Corinthians 2:8b-9, emphasis mine)

 

We often have to come to the end of ourselves before we are willing to fall on our knees before the Father and recognize that He alone is sovereign. 

When we feel as if we just can’t “handle it anymore” perhaps we need to stop trying to convince ourselves that we can and admit that we can’t so that we can claim the privilege of prevailing upon our loving Heavenly Father to carry us through what we cannot navigate on our own. It is only when we submit ourselves and our circumstances wholly to the Lord that He can then be free to work in us and use our lives for His glory.

What DOES this verse really say, then? I like the wording of the New Living Translation which reads:

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

When strong temptations come, as they always do, we can be assured of two things: 

1. No temptation we face is unique to us. There have lived many before us, and will live many after us, who have faced in the past, and who will face in the future, whatever enticements lure us.
2. GOD IS FAITHFUL! He does not abandon us to the unbearable pressure of sin. There is always a way out. We will never be put in a position where we simply have no choice but to “give in” to the temptation, whatever it is.

Temptation is inevitable. We all face it and it seems to me that sometimes the more “in-tune” I am with God and the more effort I put into knowing Him, the more I seem to be bombarded with things intended to derail me. This is to be expected, I suppose. When we are off doing our own self-centered things we are no danger to the enemy and there is no need to distract us from our cause – Oswald Chambers, in his devotional My Utmost for His Highest, says: “Not to be tempted would be to be beneath contempt.”  Satan won’t waste time on those who aren’t threatening his plan for things – they fall easily right into his grasp. But when we shed our egocentricity and submit ourselves to the Father, we are of great danger to the enemy indeed.

Chambers goes on to explain the basis for our temptation:

A man’s disposition on the inside…determines what he is tempted by on the outside. The temptation fits the nature of the one tempted, and reveals the possibilities of the nature.

I think it is very important to understand that any enticements that come our way have no power over us unless we already have a pre-disposition to that behavior in the first place. One of my closest friends doesn’t care for chocolate (I’m sure this is a significant character flaw on her part - a woman who doesn’t like chocolate???) while I, on the other hand, become nearly weak-kneed with ecstasy at the mere thought of the stuff. That said, a giant bowl of M&M’s on her desk and one on mine does not represent the same struggle for both of us. She can easily ignore it for weeks on end, while I’m off to find myself a pair of pants with an elastic waistband.

People rarely, if ever, do things that are out of character for them. When we hear ourselves saying “That’s just so unlike [him, her, them, me]” it is far more likely that we didn’t think it was like him and we didn’t want to admit it was like me, but in reality, whatever “it” was, was actually very much in line with the worst and weakest parts of our character. We may be surprised by someone’s fall in this area or that, but it is far more likely that we either ignored the signs of weakness or that the individual worked very hard to hide them than the unlikely possibility that they didn’t exist at all. Were I to reveal the contents of my skeleton-filled closet, some might be surprised by what they’d find, but I know (when I’m honest with myself) my worst behavior, though desperately ugly and perhaps even embarrassing, isn’t entirely surprising because it is rooted in my own personal weaknesses, however deeply I attempt to bury them. We must always be on our guard because the devil knows where we are vulnerable and that is ALWAYS where he will attack. He will appeal to our ego, our insecurities, our hidden greed – wherever he finds us unprotected – or unaware – he will pounce on that spot and catch us off guard. We should also take care to never be too critical of the fall of another believer – our own failing, though perhaps in another arena, may be just around the corner.

The arena of our temptation changes for us as we get older – for me they’ve become much more subtle as I age. Now in my 40s, I am no longer faced with the “Do I go out with my roommate tonight or do I stay home and study for my calculus midterm…” type dilemmas. Now they are more along the lines of choosing to spend time with God instead of with the TV remote, avoiding gossip, resisting the urge for a second helping at dinner, or allowing myself to be distracted during my quiet time. It’s not that I’m tempted by “smaller” sins (sin is sin), just less obvious – and perhaps more socially acceptable – ones. Sometimes these “subtle-sins” can be even more challenging to avoid because it is so much easier to justify our behavior by suggesting that what we’re doing isn’t really “all that bad.” Eating half of a cheesecake and drinking half a bottle of tequila are both really bad ideas, but I’m sure that most would admit to the half of a cheesecake long before the bottle of tequila if confessions are being made at Bible study.

We can never avoid temptation entirely, but we do have the choice to avoid the sin. When we find ourselves face-to-face with that proverbial bowl of M&Ms, we need to claim the promise God gives us here in 1 Corinthians 10:13 – that He is faithful and that He will always provide a way out. In that sense, it’s true – God never gives us more than we can handle.

Prone to wander..

There are few things that strike dread in the hearts of the heftier set than an event where you're going to see people you haven't seen for years. I vaguely remember loving these kinds of things "Ooooo! An excuse to buy a new outfit! New shoes! Gonna change my hairstyle! Get my nails done! Hooray!"

Oh, I still buy new outfits for these kinds of things, but it's typically been because I no longer fit into what's in my closet - and not in the good "oh my gosh do you see how those pants just HANG on me?" kind of way.

I have one of these things coming up at the end of June and it was just the impetus I needed to answer with a resounding YES when my sister-in-law asked me if I'd want to take on a clean-eating plan with her. She's not overweight, but just wanted to clean up her diet and knowing that I have been pretty unhappy with where the scale sits, thought I might be interested in doing it with her. She tirelessly planned, generously bought and shared vitamins and other pantry necessities and left little for me to bring to the table outside of enthusiasm and commitment.

Honestly, enthusiasm and commitment have always been my biggest problems (besides my jeans-size - pun slightly intended).

I cannot separate the physical from the spiritual, and so this is a Spiritual journey as well. One of the greatest struggles for me in both aspects has always been enthusiasm and commitment. I love the third verse of Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing because it captures it so perfectly:

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

prone to leave the God I love;

here's my heart, O take and seal it,

seal it for thy courts above.

I almost cannot sing this verse without falling to my knees in a heap of tears. God is so faithful. And yet, I am so...NOT. I am so easily distracted. So easily drawn away by that shiny thing that promises entertainment or fun or relaxation. I know I should read my Bible, but I'm enjoying the mindlessness of surfing the internet, and I just want to relax tonight. I know I should pray, but Netflix is calling my name and I just don't want to have to think so hard. I know I should...but I don't. 

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.

How often have I missed a blessing God longed to give me because I wasn't in the place to receive it?  I don't mean winning lottery numbers or a new car, but an insight that encourages me, His Word clearly speaking into my life, or maybe he gives me insight to speak His blessing into someone ELSE'S life.  I could be in the presence of the Almighty God in prayer tonight, but someone might post a picture of their dinner on Facebook, and sheesh, I'd hate to miss that. I could be spending time with my Savior, but my favorite TV show us about to come on. The issue isn't that those things are wrong or bad, but how often am I choosing those things over the things of God? How often am I trading time I could be spending learning more about Jesus, hearing His voice, impacting my soul - perhaps the souls of those I love - for eternity, to do something that doesn't really even matter 15 minutes from now?

My struggle with food is much the same. There are so many healthy things to choose from, but oh how I'm drawn by the seduction of crispy fries and the chocolate frosted cake donut. I know I should munch a carrot stick, but the mindless crunch (and effortless prep) of a potato chip is so tasty in the moment. I know I should take the time to prepare a healthy meal with fresh veggies and herbs clipped from a lovingly nurtured herb garden, but the chopping and preparing is so time-consuming and my poor little potted herbs are barely clinging to life.  Besides, I just don't feel like working that hard when Chinese take-out is just down the street - and they have what my 5-year-old likes to call "sticky shrimp"!

The thing is, a healthy diet takes effort. It takes time.  It takes discipline. And I am so prone to wander! 

But I noticed something interesting this time around.  My sister-in-law and I spent a lot of time going through recipes, planning meals and chopping and pre-cooking things that could be prepared ahead of time.  I found there were so many recipes that I was genuinely excited about that I wasn't at all focused on the things I would be "giving up" under this plan.  In fact, it wasn't until almost a week into it when someone asked me "So what are you NOT eating?" that I even thought about the things I'd removed from my shopping list.  Past efforts have seemed like an endless list of "No's" and "Not thats" so much so that my focus seemed to remain on all the stuff I was eliminating rather than the enjoyable options that remained in the "YES" column.

Our faith can be that way, too. We can become so caught up in what we're "giving up for Jesus" that our focus becomes set on what we've given up rather than on what we're gaining in light of eternity. There are several slippery slopes when the center of our attention slips in that direction. First, if we are obsessing about what we've given up, we tend to miss entirely what God is trying to do with the time and effort he's called us to transfer from that thing (whatever it is) to Him.

The second danger is becoming prideful about those things we've given up, as if that somehow just the act of self-denial makes us more holy. May we always remember that Christ gave up His place in heaven in order to walk among us on earth, and then gave up His life so that we might be saved. Our sacrifices, at least here in the US, pale in comparison.

Whether we walk away from specific sin or simply feel God calling us to use our time differently, He doesn't draw us away from certain things just to deny us. He calls us away from certain things because those things keep us from Him, and NOTHING fulfills us the way He does, no matter how entertaining or enjoyable it might seem in the moment.

My prayer is that I will be strong in my quest for healthier options, both physically and spiritually.

here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.

In Biblical times, a seal was placed on items or documents to assure authenticity and declare ownership.  Paul uses the seal as an analogy for what the Holy Spirit does to the heart of those who follow Christ:

In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory    Ephesians 1:13-14

As followers of Christ, we are sealed with the Holy Spirit and that seal identifies us as heirs to the inheritance that is eternal life in the presence of God.  Although our earthly years are few in comparison with eternity, when I do finally stand before the Lord , I want to know that my time here on earth was well spent.  Whether I accomplish anything in the eyes of the world matters little to me, rather that I would accomplish those things that God had in mind for me when He gave me breath.  May I be a witness to his grace and to His glory and may I have the courage to share the profound and amazing gift of the Gospel with those I come in contact with, that they might know His grace and His glory as well.  And may there be nothing in my life that would detract from the work God is doing in me.  Not an attitude or a habit or even an out of control relationship with food.  May everything I say and do bring glory to Him!

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.   1 Corinthians 10:31 

It is hard...

My 5-year-old launched himself into the living room with all the flourish of a superhero and exclaimed at the top of his lungs "I'M THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD!!" To prove this claim he produced a piece of paper which he held over his head and, grasping an end in each hand, began to pull with all his might. Unfortunately, his demonstration wasn't exactly going as he'd intended. Clad only in his Superman underwear, his skinny little stick-figure frame pulled and grunted with all his might for what seemed like an excruciatingly long time, with intermittent grunts he declared "The...oof...strongest...ERRRRR!..man...MMMMMMFFFF...in....grrrrrrr"
His face was beet red with effort, and I wanted to help him out a bit. "Honey, if you tear that rather than pull..."

"NO Mommy," he grunted determinedly, his little hand thrust out in my direction "I got this. The...aaaAARG...strongest man...rrrrRRRRR...in...the... ooooooooooooof....WORLD!" at which point he finally caught on that tearing really WAS the best way to get the job done, tore the sheet of paper with ease and waved the pieces over his head in victory. Without any acknowledgement of how thoroughly unconvincing this demonstration turned out to be, he launched himself back OUT of the living room, and immersed himself in something less strenuous.

It's amazing how hard it is to do things the wrong way. A simple piece of paper that rips with ease is shockingly strong when pulled end from end, even by an adult.

In Acts 26, Paul is telling King Agrippa about his dramatic conversion on the road to Damascus. Paul, then known as Saul, was zealous to protect his Jewish faith and his intention was to wipe out these "blasphemers" who followed Jesus of Nazareth. The trip to Damascus was to be part of this effort. But as he and his companions traveled along the road, they were overwhelmed by a bright light. Paul continues his story in verse 14:

And when we had all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice saying to me in the Hebrew language, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’

Saul was committed. He was serious. But he was wrong, and Jesus himself confronted him about it. "It is hard for you to kick against the goads." Such a vivid word-picture. "Goads" were the pointy sticks farmers used to guide livestock in a certain direction. The notion of a pointy-stick might seem a bit disagreeable from the animal's point of view, but you could have a pleasant chat with a cow all day long and the likelihood of that translating into directions for his afternoon walk is unlikely. It takes the pointy stick to do that. 

Sometimes I have more in common with cows than I care to admit...

Notice what Jesus says here: "It is hard for you..." 

I've been IN the will of God and I've been OUT of the will of God (and the latter embarrassingly often). No matter how difficult obedience may seem and how attractive disobedience may appear, in the end things are always so hard outside the will of God.

It's just like Carson trying to pull that paper apart, spending his strength and straining his little muscles on a plan that simply wasn't going to work.

Oh, how often I'm like that with God!

I plow ahead with my scrawny effort and leave God out of it. And my efforts may very well be towards something good and noble and perhaps even "godly" but if God isn't in it, if God's will is for me to go in a different direction, then I can pull and strain and perhaps even succeed for a time, but it will be hard in the end. So much harder than if I'd just listened for His direction in the first place.

That's not to say that obedience is always easy or that disobedience is necessarily difficult. In fact, often God's way seems to be the more difficult path, the more uncomfortable path, and it is so tempting to choose what looks easier, perhaps even more practical. Our decision to choose obedience, to choose God’s way over our way, is often the most difficult part - once you've decided to do that thing, the doing isn't really so difficult after all. 

And the opposite is true when you reject the will of God. Initially, it may seem easier to put it off, ignore it, or outright refuse what you feel God is calling you to. Sometimes you may even seem to prosper for a season outside of God's will. But eventually it becomes very difficult indeed.

Seeking - and choosing - God’s will isn’t reserved just for the big decisions of life. Let’s not agonize over whether God is calling us to a mission in Africa and ignore that persistent nudge to knock on the door of our next-door neighbor to invite them to church. Seeking God’s will for where we live and put down family roots is certainly important, but it is just as important to consistently seek His will for HOW we live – how we interact with friends and loved ones, and how we treat those we come in contact with at the grocery store or in that long, ridiculously slow line at the post office. 

My prayer is that as believers and followers of Christ, our souls would be softened to His Holy Spirit, that we would hear His voice and sense those nudges of direction, even in the simplicities of our daily lives. That we would be bold in talking to that neighbor, that we would be patient in those moments of frustration, that we would not kick against the goads of his will, but rather commit to seeking it through the pages of His Word and commit to doing it, strengthened by Holy Spirit through the power of prayer.

Bought and Paid for….

When I started this blog, my initial intention was to give me a place to chronicle my food battle. And it is a battle. I fight the same pounds year after year, finding victory over 15 or 20 only to succumb to the strain of constant warfare and realize suddenly that they’ve all crept back on - plus one or two. I’d tried before and failed and thought “Okay. So THIS is REALLY it this time. I’m going to TALK about it. Battle it in the public eye” (or at least the 7-10 eyes I told about this little foray into blog-dom) thinking that if I was “out there” about it, it would encourage me to be more successful.

 

But I failed - again. I ate more, wrote less and now, here I am within 2 pounds of my all-time high wondering why I can’t find that inner-crossfit-goddess that surely lives somewhere under these dimpled thighs and jiggly upper arms. 

 

I really, really hate the body that looks back at me in the mirror every day.

 

But apparently I hate the discipline of exercise and healthy eating more.

 

What a conundrum.

 

And so here I am, back at my keyboard, tap-tap-tapping away and wondering if I can flap my arms up and down (while typing) with enough vigor to burn the calories from the blueberry muffin I ate for breakfast. 

 

I’m not sure WHY this continues to be such a struggle for me. I’ve analyzed my behavior, identified my issues and many of the solutions, yet I struggle with flipping the switch that perpetuates a real transformation. I long for freedom, and yet I continue to intentionally walk right back into the prison of my own appetites by choosing poorly, or perhaps over-indulging when the choice is healthy. Sometimes I feel so broken and frustrated by my failures, I want to just give up and resign myself to life in the double-digit sizes..

 

You are not your own, for you were bought with a price

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.   1 Corinthians 6:19-20 

I read this verse and it hit me as a sharp blow to the chest. I’ve read it before, many, many times, focused on the notion of my body as a temple and guiltily recognizing that I’ve often been eating as if the Holy Spirit’s indwelling required that I eat for both of us. It has been enough to make me feel wretched about myself, but after a few days (weeks) of reformation I slip back into old habits. This time, however my focus was elsewhere:

 

You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.

 

Imagine you are in desperate need of a car. You are unable to buy one on your own and so you’ve struggled along, catching rides when possible and doing the best you can to organize your life around those who can take you where you need to go and your limited access to public transportation.  

 

Then imagine that one day someone buys you a car, and not just a car but a really, really nice $40,000 car. It is more than just a way to get from point A to point B, it is luxurious and comfortable and far more than you ever could have purchased on your own.  Suddenly a trip to the grocery store takes a fraction of the time it used to. You can make appointments without considering anyone else’s calendar. You are independent.  You are free!

 

But you don’t take care of the car – in fact, quite the opposite. The back end is crushed in from the day you carelessly backed into a tree. The front end is smashed, as well, from another time when you were parking and didn’t slow down enough to avoid hitting a retaining wall. One of the side mirrors is missing, though you can’t really remember what happened to it. The inside is littered with garbage and the seats are stained and sticky from spilled drinks. The map pockets have been used as ashtrays by your friends and the visors have been torn off. The floormats were discarded long ago and the carpets are filthy.  

 

One afternoon you come out of the grocery store to find someone standing next to your car and he is staring in stunned silence. It is the man who had bought you the car just a year before and he can’t believe that this wreck is the car he purchased for you, a car he bought at considerable cost to himself. He bought you something he knew you could never afford on your own because he cared so deeply for you, and he gave up some of his own wants in order to do so. He’d used his vacation fund for the down payment and had sacrificed meals out, cable TV and traded his own luxury car for a less expensive model in order to afford the car he’d purchased for you. And now he stands looking at what is left of this extravagant gift and wonders what happened.

 

What kind of a person would take such a generous gift and be so careless with it? Who could be so thoughtless and disrespectful of the sacrifice made to provide it? I’m sure we’ve all seen generosity abused and most of us would bristle at an abuse of this magnitude.

Bought with a price.  

My redemption cost Christ His life. My redeemed life is both soul and body. As I consider that I am no longer my own and seek to glorify God in my body, as Paul directs, I realize that it is not simply the care I take of my soul and the relationship I seek with Jesus, but also my body in that it is by this body that I am able to live out my faith in practical ways. When I don’t take care of my body it limits my availability to be Jesus to those around me. And it is profoundly disrespectful to this amazing gift that God has given me.
 

And so I choose to continue the battle against my appetite. I choose to continue the battle to move my body rather than sleep in.  I chose to honor God with my choices because I was bought with a price. 

Blind

I stood in stunned silence and stared at myself in the hotel-room mirror. This was a very big problem. I replayed the previous 45 seconds in my mind a few times and didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Why do these things happen to me??? I breathed a heavy sigh and went to the room next door where my parents, husband and son were waiting for me.

My mom took one look at me and immediately said “What’s wrong?”

“I just flushed my glasses down the toilet.”

“You did WHAT?”

“My glasses fell into the toilet when it was flushing and they are gone. They went down. I couldn’t get them.”

I had to explain the sequence of events a few times because it was just so…bizarre. I’d bent over to pick something up off of the bathroom floor while the toilet was flushing. My glasses, which were pushed up on top of my head while I did a few makeup touch-ups, fell off into the industrial strength flush of the hotel-room toilet and in a second they were gone.

GONE.

Fourth of July had given us the perfect excuse to escape the scorching desert heat of Phoenix and head north to enjoy higher elevations and cooler temperatures. We checked into our hotel in early afternoon to freshen up before heading out to enjoy the evening celebration. The “incident” occurred shortly after we arrived, and with no “backup” on hand I was nearly blind for the remainder of our trip. When I say “nearly blind” it’s only a slight exaggeration. I’ve worn glasses since kindergarten and I am terribly, terribly nearsighted. While I enjoyed our evening of festivities and fireworks and our hike around a scenic (or so I'm told) lake the next day, it was difficult and at times frustrating to not be able to share in much of what my visually UNimpaired family was enjoying.  Never again will I take the gift of corrective lenses for granted!

But, better physically blind than spiritually so.

Jesus showed great compassion and love for the lost, but his interactions with the scribes and Pharisees took on a very different tone. In Matthew 23, in what could be best described as a “rant” on the Pharisees, Jesus calls them both hypocrites (6 times) and blind (5 times). They had become so caught up in rules and legalism that they’d abandoned the true reason for the law in the first place – guidelines for a life of holiness that allowed communion with God. For many of them, their faith consisted of nothing more than religious showmanship that fed their selfish pride, and God was simply a vehicle for status and self-aggrandizement.

It is so easy to be critical of the Pharisees. We read these words and feel an identification with Jesus' righteous anger towards men who would rather see a crippled man continue to suffer than rejoice in a miraculous healing that "broke a rule" of Sabbath rest.  Men so devoted to the rules, they were completely blind, not only to the love and compassion and awe-inspiring miracles of Jesus, but to His identity as their long-awaited Messiah.

In verses Philippians 3:4-6,  Paul addresses his own walk in the robes of the Pharisee.  He had the right lineage, the right training, the right lifestyle, and yet he says:

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith  Philippians 3:7-9 (emphasis mine)

As I read this passage, I had to ask myself "Am I living out my faith inspired by the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord?"   Paul was acutely aware not only of the magnitude of Christ's sacrifice on his behalf, but also his own unworthiness. It is only when we realize those two things in concert that we can begin to fathom a faith like Paul's and live it out for ourselves.

Simply put, the faith of Paul the Pharisee (then called Saul) was all about how great Saul was. The faith of Paul the Apostle was about how great GOD is.

The same goes for us when we seek to follow Christian rules rather than follow Christ. Legalism keeps us so obsessed with who we are that we miss who God is. We just as well flush our spiritual glasses down the toilet and satisfy ourselves with the notion that we live a pretty good life most of the time, checking the right boxes and NOT checking the wrong ones (Devotional time? Check! Cursing? Nope, not today! Hooray, victory!) Really? Is that why Jesus died for me? Just so I could live out the "be a better person" rules a little more successfully?

Living out the faith Paul talks of here is a very different thing. When we begin with the realization that any notion of righteousness we lay claim to cost Jesus his life (we can never check enough boxes to be good enough for a Holy God) we are able to approach our faith from a place of humility and gratitude. As Christ-followers, our lives should be examples of vibrant faith, inspired by the love of a Holy God and empowered by the Holy Spirit.

My prayer is that we as Christ-followers would live lives that bring Him glory, that we would be vibrant testimonies to what God can do even through a shambles of a human-being (in my case, anyway!), and that we might reflect Him more and more clearly every day.

Leave your nets!

And Jesus said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men.” And immediately they left their nets and followed him.  Mark 1:17-18 (ESV)

Jesus speaks to Simon (Peter) and Andrew as they are working their fishing business, casting nets and pulling them in for the day's catch. “Follow me” He says, and they go immediately, leaving their nets behind to follow Jesus. We are told in John (1:40) that Andrew had been a follower of John the Baptist and had heard him testify that Jesus was the Messiah, so we know that this was not some impulsive decision made in ignorance of the man for whom they were abandoning their boats.

Jesus’ call continues and it is directed to each of us. “Follow me” He says. As I’ve challenged myself to live as a Christ-follower rather than simply labeling myself “Christian”, I’ve realized how different the two really are. It is an abandonment of self, it is the release of religious affinities in favor of Biblical truth, it is relinquishment of personal preference in pursuit of Christ’s call. It is caring about what the Bible says more than what my friends or my family or my emotions dictate. It is not simply Jesus first, but Jesus ONLY.

Immediately…

 

In Luke 9 we are told of several other would-be disciples. One man declares his dedication “I will follow you anywhere!” but when Jesus tells him “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head” (v.57) we hear nothing further from this aspiring follower. Christ calls another man directly, but this man wants to wait until his father dies before he takes the plunge of discipleship. “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God” (v.60). A third wants to say goodbye to his family – a last “hurrah” if you will. Jesus says to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God” (v.62). There was no “immediately” from any of these three men. There was no following at all. Perhaps they were happy to fit Jesus into their lives in some way, but presented with the notion of Jesus above all else, Jesus ONLY, they were not willing to commit to THAT.

 

Are we so different?  

 

As a child raised in church I envisioned this scene, with me in the role of the biblical-era prospective disciple and I imagined Jesus' eyes meeting mine as He called “follow me.” My childhood devotion could visualize nothing less than tossing aside my Barbie dolls and Easy-Bake oven for a life clinging to the robes of Jesus, whatever the cost. How could anyone turn down an offer to walk side-by-side with the real, live, skin-on Savior? 

 

The beauty of child-like faith is not only its simplicity but its uncomplicated honesty.  Things are black and white and why would anyone, presented with the option of hanging out with Jesus, want to do anything else FIRST!  But for so many of us, somewhere in those growing up years, as we exchange our Barbie dolls and Easy-Bake ovens (and Legos and Tonka trucks) for careers, cars, homes and families, following Christ becomes little more than adding a bit of Jesus to our already jam-packed lives. Christianity is defined by an hour at church on Sunday listening to a good, uplifting message, and prayers before dinner. Perhaps we even go to a Bible study if it sounds interesting and we’ve got a friend who’ll go with us. But the notion of prioritizing our lives around our faith, as opposed to the other way around?  

That’s a little…well, much…right?

 

...they left their nets, and followed him.

 

How often in my own walk have I sought to follow Jesus, but I can’t quite bring myself to leave the nets of my own life - not my responsibilities to my home and my family, but my nets of preconceived notions and personal preferences, nets of expectations and attitudes, nets of comfortable rules and yes, sometimes even sin. I love Jesus, but I just don’t want to let go of those things, so I press on down the paths and trails of life, claiming faith but all the while dragging this “meshwork of me” that catches on every rock, weed and shrub, slowing me down.  

 

This is the case for many believers, isn’t it? We want it to be “us and Jesus”, side-by-side, but we are constantly distracted from the leading of our Savior by the tangled chaos of frustrations and crises and bad judgment and sin and sometimes even misguided religion.  Our nets are a mess of branches and dirt and weeds that we’ve caught up along the way, but we won't let them go - they are a mess, but the mess is so familiar we just can't seem to leave it behind..

 

Meanwhile, Jesus continues walking, leading, longing for us to drop those dirty, branch-catching nets in favor of an unhindered life of Him and Him only.

 

What would our walk of faith look like if we abandoned our "nets" of personal opinion, preference, attitude and feelings in favor of a life walking side by side with Jesus, focused only on Him?  What would our churches look like if we cast those nets aside and not only read the Word, but lived it and, perhaps even more so, loved  it simply because it is the Word of God?

 

...with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind

...“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”  Matthew 22:37-40 (ESV)

In this passage, Jesus himself declares that nothing else is more important than loving our God with all of our hearts, all of our souls and all of our minds. When the launching point for our lives is an overwhelming love for our heavenly Father, everything else finds its place. 

But when it comes to loving God, I think many of us are handicapped by the fact that we have absolutely NO idea how much God loves US - if we even grasp that He loves us at all.  We read verses like John 3:16 and Romans 5:8 and whether familiarity has robbed them of their impact or we have simply neglected to read them with a heart to understand, we miss the reality of a love so vast that it is only vaguely conceivable in light of the vastness of the One who loves. 

God loves me. 

God loves you. 

The Almighty Creator, Sovereign Lord of All, The Alpha and the Omega, the Everlasting God loves us.

He loves us through the pains of disappointment and the joys of success.  He loves us through our confident moves forward and through fearful uncertainty. He loves us when we chase after Him with reckless abandon and He loves us when we plod along dragging our dirty, tangled nets that represent our worldly expectations and human frailties and all the things that distract us from our singular purpose as believers: Following Christ.

It was only when I began to realize and meditate upon how immense (incomprehensible, really) God's love is for us that I was truly able to begin loving Him.  And the more I love God, the more grateful I am for Christ's work on the cross, the more I realize that there is a singular focus in my life.  A lens through which I view everything that I am and everything that I do: Following Jesus.

Let's just leave those nets and follow Jesus.,
 
May we leave our nets of pressured comparison to follow Him as we parent our precious children.

May we leave our nets of selfish expectation as we follow Him within our marriages. 

May we leave our nets of fear as we follow Him in our workplaces. 

May we leave our nets of personal preference and follow Him in our churches.

Immediately, may we leave our nets and simply follow Jesus!

 

 

 

 

Mommy Meltdown

That Monday was just one of those mornings. My 4-year-old woke up on the wrong side of the bed and nothing was to his liking. He complained about his breakfast and whined about being asked to get ready for preschool. He decided he didn’t like the clothes he’d picked out and felt that the effort of putting on his underwear was above and beyond what anyone should expect of a boy his age. The final straw came when tooth-brushing degenerated into smearing toothpaste around the bathroom counter and finally, apparently exhausted by the effort of putting on his now toothpaste-covered underwear, he collapsed on the floor, and demanded (over and over again) that I push the button on his battery-operated toothbrush.

I’d had it. I yelled with such volume that he immediately started crying. I was so frustrated that I kept yelling – about his breakfast, his underwear, his clothing choice, the toothpaste covered bathroom and that stupid button on his toothbrush that, until this morning, he has pushed himself every single day for at least a year. Through my clenched teeth and his tear stained face we got ourselves together, out the door and into the car: him to preschool and me to…a leader’s meeting for my Bible study.

I felt like such a failure. How could I possibly be a “leader” of anything, much less a group of women seeking Jesus? Apparently I’d forgotten all about Him that morning – as if Aqua Fresh Children’s “fresh ‘n’ fruity” toothpaste were the kryptonite of Christ-awareness.

The apostle Paul knew the frustration of failure.  He explains that although he "has the desire to do what is right" he lacks "the ability to carry it out" (Romans 7:18-19).  There is comfort in knowing that a spiritual powerhouse like Paul, who was used by God to change the religious complexion of the world, sometimes found himself doing or saying the wrong thing.

Let the Holy Spirit guide your lives…

I read an article recently by a "reformed yeller," a woman who realized that her yelling was harmful to her kids and, determined not to be "that mom", she just quit doing it. Good for her (I mean that sincerely)!  Unfortunately, my own efforts to "just quit doing it" were a dismal failure.

At first, I did pretty well...until I was faced with a particularly nasty combination of bad attitude, sassy mouth and outright defiance.  My volume increased, my tone sharpened, and I was in mid-yell before I even realized it.  Just like Paul (Romans 7:15) I know what I want to do, but I do the very thing I hate.  And unlike that lovely woman in the article, I couldn't seem to try hard enough to change it consistently.

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves…the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Galatians 5:16,22-23a, 24-25

Love, joy, peace, patience…yeah, all those things painfully absent in me that Monday morning. To let the Holy Spirit guide my life is to live, not under the whims of my emotions, but by the power of the Almighty God, and the results are dramatically different.

I began to realize that my yelling was just a symptom.  The real problem was that I was allowing myself to be controlled by my son's difficult behavior rather than reacting with the heart of one who belongs to Christ Jesus.  I have to be filled by the Holy Spirit and allow HIM to be my guide, not my precious 4-year-old.

We have an immensely loving Heavenly Father, a Savior who died on a cross to grant us salvation in spite of our failures and missteps.  He longs to minister freedom from continued sin through His Holy Spirit, but He does not force it upon us.  We have to seek after it.  We have to put ourselves in a position to hear His voice and sense His guidance, which we can only do when we are in the Word and in prayer consistently.

Oh, how I struggle with that! 

But it is critically important.

Let us follow the Spirit's leading in every part of our lives…

Every part of my life.  Although I seek the Holy Spirit quite intentionally in my role as a Bible Study leader, sometimes as a wife, a mom, a daughter...well, those things I try to handle on my own.  And often, not nearly as well as I should.  I don't intentionally exclude God, but sometimes I don't intentionally include Him either.  More and more I realize how desperately I need the Holy Spirit leading EVERY part of my life.  Not just the "Jesus parts."

Seeking Jesus has to be the most important part of my day, every day. Most of us (especially me) can do a better job of this.  Not in a "feel guilty because you don't have a marathon-quiet-time every day" kind of way, but in a "this is the most important thing you will do all day because God loves you and longs to be a part of your life" kind of way. 

Sometimes I think we try to minimize the importance of time with Jesus.  We don't want anyone to feel bad.  Our Christian friends say, "You know, I'm just not having consistent time with the Lord."

And we say, "Well, that's okay. I'm sure you are doing the best you can." 

I'm not so sure this is the best answer.  I'm not sure it's always okay.  And I'm not sure we're always doing the best we can.  Our battle is a spiritual one and I am convinced that some of Satan’s greatest victories will be not amongst those who ignored God entirely but amongst those of us who claim the name of Jesus but whose neglect of our spiritual lives (i.e. time in the Word and prayer) has rendered us spiritually impotent.

Rather than just trying to make each other feel "okay," let's encourage each other!  Pray for and with each other! Pray that if God is calling us to give Him more of our time that He will reveal where that time needs to come from.  If we feel as if we need to spend a little more time in the Word, it may well be because the Holy Spirit is impressing upon us that, well, we need to spend a little more time in the Word!  God knows whether we're doing the "best we can" or whether we're allowing other things to creep into the place where He belongs.  Let's not be tempted to compare ourselves to each other - but rather let's seek the Lord for the answer as to whether things are good as they are or whether we need to change things up a bit.  And if He's calling us to change it up a bit, do it!

As I've sought to prioritize my time with God, I'm discovering that there is a softening of my reactions to things that once would have set off my yell-o-matic.  I have begun to pray daily over my parenting, asking specifically that the Lord would help me parent with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control.  Through the Holy Spirit, I want to reflect Jesus in my home as much as anywhere.

I want to follow the Holy Spirit's leading in every part of my life - especially those parts covered in fresh-n-fruity toothpaste!